We haven’t had a good vomit opportunity since The Creationist Vomit Show from Seattle, and we keep getting email demanding another. Okay, your Curmudgeon hears you. By a stroke of good fortune, we found one at the Discoveroids’ creationist blog, and it’s a classic.
All right, Vomiteers, get ready for a new episode of the Creationist Vomit Show — on location in Seattle! — hosted by your humble Curmudgeon. The Discoveroids’ title is Now It’s a “War on Children” — Critics of Academic Freedom Opt for Scare Tactics, written by Sarah Chaffee (whom we call “Savvy Sarah”). Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:
An article in Digital Journal [Republican anti-science bills target schools in four states] advances the familiar misconceptions about academic freedom legislation. But its title stands out even from what we’re accustomed to from the media: “Republican ‘war on science’ targets children in four more states.”
Anyone with any common sense would object to the gruesome and indecent image — a war that targets children? Fine, let them disagree about the advisability of these laws. But this wording is a prime example of scare tactics, also known as the fallacy of appeal to fear.
[*Audience squirms and squeals with delight*] The article Savvy Sarah cites is about several Discoveroid-inspired academic freedom bills that we’ve been writing about. We’ve critiqued such legislation in the Curmudgeon’s Guide to “Academic Freedom” Laws. Then she says:
As a matter of fact, these bills aid children. How else would you characterize legislation that encourages critical thinking skills that young people will find to be vital in adult life?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! On with the show! Savvy Sarah tells us:
Additionally, both the Digital Journal article and an Ars Technica article that it references say academic freedom legislation opens the door to non-scientific information. That is wrong. [Hee hee!] … As we have pointed out many times in the past, these bills do not permit religion in the classroom. Additionally, there is real scientific controversy over evolutionary theory’s Modern Synthesis. (See Casey Luskin’s article, for a start, “The Top Ten Scientific Problems with Biological and Chemical Evolution.”)
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We wrote about Casey’s Top Ten problems with evolution here: Casey’s Evidence for Intelligent Design. Skipping a bit, Savvy Sarah ends with this:
Plainly, academic freedom laws like those in Louisiana and Tennessee do not give shelter to teaching creationism. This kind of “reporting” does not help or educate anyone.
That’s it, Vomiteers — wasn’t it fun? [*Yes!*] Now, for the climax of the show — the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Your Curmudgeon will pull this magic chain and release a flood of creationist vomit upon the studio audience. Ready? [*Yes!*] Here it comes! [*Curmudgeon pulls chain. Whoosh! Plop! Bluuuuhhh!*]
Wasn’t that great? [*Yes!*] Okay, Vomiteers, you can take off your costumes now. We’ll let you know when the next episode is available. And if you don’t yet have your official Vomiteer costume, be sure to visit the Curmudgeon’s gift shop.
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