Evidence of Aliens Discovered on Mars

Look what we found in the Daily Star, a tabloid published in London. Their headline is: Alien drone crash on MARS? Shock claims of relics left behind by ancient Martians, and they have a comments feature. Here are some excerpts from the news story, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

The grainy image believed to have been snapped by NASA’s rover on the red planet appears to show “an ancient drone abandoned” on its surface. The object supports US-based scientist John Brandenburg’s theory that archaeological relics were left behind by ancient Martians, said ufologists. Plasma physicist Mr Brandenburg has previously said Mars had a developed a civilisation in the distant past, which had a terrible and cruel ending.

Who is John Brandenburg? He’s not in Wikipedia, but RationalWicki has a write-up on him. They say:

John E. Brandenburg is a plasma physicist who went somewhat off the rails in 2012 and started proclaiming that he saw clear evidence of a thermonuclear war on Mars in the distant past. This off-beat idea attracted the attention of woo-peddlars and gave a mighty boost to sales of his books — both the non-fiction books and the science fiction books that he wrote using the nom de plume Victor Norgarde.

He also has an ark-load of videos at YouTube. Okay, back to the Daily Star. They tell us:

Mr Brandenburg believes a nuclear war took place about half a billion years ago and evidence of the genocide can still be seen today.

The plasma physicist claims “anyone who can read a map” can see the the nuclear explosion sites. His theory is that a civilisation, like the people of the Bronze Age on Earth, developed on Mars, but were wiped out by a more advanced alien aggressor from another planet. Mr Brandenburg said that ancient Martians were massacred in the giant nuclear attack.

This is very exciting! The tabloid continues:

He bases his theory on data collected by NASA from Mars he says shows “weapon-signature” isotopes showing the two massive nuclear “airbursts” in the Northern regions of the planet. He says what he identified was a thin layer of radioactive substances including uranium, thorium and radioactive potassium on Mars.

Why hasn’t NASA told us about this? Let’s read on:

And ufologists believe the object in the picture is the ultimate evidence that such civilisations existed on Mars in the distant past and is a piece of hardware that survived the test of time.

The tabloid article is full of pictures — and videos. They’re very persuasive! Another excerpt:

YouTube user Paranormal Crucible added: “The anomaly which appears to be the result of intelligent design [Gasp!] was photographed by the rover as it surveyed the area around rock nest at Gale Crater. “In my opinion this object is an extraterrestrial drone possibly built by the indigenous Martian populace or perhaps it was deployed by an off world alien species who were exploring the Martian surface. This object was found a few years back, but I will be re-visiting some old discoveries and shedding new light on what they could actually be.”

That’s the end of the news article. So what do we make of this astounding information? It comes from reliable sources, and your Curmudgeon has long suspected that NASA has been concealing The Truth from us. So we’re convinced. How about you, dear reader?

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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9 responses to “Evidence of Aliens Discovered on Mars

  1. Some people clearly have too much time on their hands, and too little useful to do with it.

  2. “somewhat off the rails” That’s bit of an understatement.

  3. How do you pronounce “ufologist”?

  4. Sorry, that should have been “pronounce” not “pronoun”.

    Perhaps the almighty hand in his glorious aboveliness could correct my error. A humble supplicant can but hope.

    [*Voice from above*] Behold — it is done!

  5. You-eff-ol-o-gist. I think.

  6. Unfortunately, that makes it seem like ufology is actually a science.

  7. A bit like urologist I s’pose?

  8. Benighted evolutionists, don’t you realise that the surface layer of Mars really does contain uranium, thorium, and (shock, horror) radioactive potassium? Answer that, if you can

  9. retiredsciguy guesses how to pronounce ufologist: “You-eff-ol-o-gist. I think.”

    Wrongo! It’s Ooooooooooooh-FOL-uh-gist.