This just appeared at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else: It All Adds Up.
It was written by Roger Patterson. At the end it says he “taught in public schools for eight years before joining Answers in Genesis. He earned his BS Ed degree in biology from Montana State University–Billings.” Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections [that look like this]:
A 6,000-year-old earth? When you look up the Bible references, the math’s not that hard!
For those who trust in an evolutionary view of history, determining the earth’s age is a complicated process. First, you have to find a meteorite, crush it up, and then send it to a lab for analysis. (Why a meteorite? I’ll get to that later.) Technicians measure the ratio of isotopes and enter that into a complex calculation that factors in the rate of radiometric decay. Out pops a number somewhere around 4,500,000,000 years (or at least that’s the expected result). That’s a whole lot of zeros!
Yeah — too many! Then he says:
But if you look to the Bible as the ultimate source of truth, a much simpler answer emerges. And you don’t even need to find a meteorite. All you need is a Bible and a calculator.
We certainly want to go with the simpler method. Patterson talks about the genealogies in Genesis and tells us:
These lists demonstrate the historical nature of the early chapters of Genesis. Real men had real sons, and we know how old each man was at the birth of his son. … Seth was born to Adam at 130, and Seth had Enosh when he was 105. So from Adam to Enosh, 235 years passed. … [Y]ou can run down the list and add the ages from Adam to Noah. … That brings the date at Shem’s birth to 1,558 years after the creation of Adam.
This is, more or less, the same process that was used in the Ussher chronology. It’s never explained why that genealogy is used, rather than, say, the genealogy of some other tribe, whose elders can piously recite: “And Ooga begat Booga, and Booga begat Shmooga …”
Anyway, Patterson goes on and on, through all the bible’s begats, and announces:
Adding all of this gives us a time span of about 2,008 years from Adam to Abraham.
So now we know [Hee hee!] there were about 2,000 years from Adam to Abraham, but how do we get to the present? Think backward from this point. Pop quiz: How many years have passed from Jesus’ life to the present? Since our modern calendar gives dates in Anno Domini (the year of our Lord), the answer is easy: about 2,000.
Ooooooooooooh! The man’s a genius! He continues:
All that’s left is to determine the time between Jesus and Abraham. This is a little more complicated, but with a bit of hopping from book to book, it is possible to calculate the answer from the Bible. Bible scholars disagree on a few details but the total disagreement covers only about 200 years. Most historians, even those who don’t believe the Bible, agree that Abraham was born around 2000 BC — and this dating agrees with the biblical record.
Isn’t this exciting? All the information is there! Let’s read on:
Now you have the three pieces to add together, but I bet you can do this part in your head. From creation to Abraham is about 2,000 years. Abraham to Jesus covers about 2,000 years, and you are 2,000 years removed from Jesus. 2 + 2 + 2 = 6. That means the earth, and the entire created universe, is about 6,000 years old.
Fantastic! And he’s right — the numbers all add up! Another excerpt:
Now that might sound radical if you have always heard the earth is 4.5 billion years old. But on what authority should you accept that claim? Christians should look to God’s Word to determine right and wrong, so why shouldn’t they do so on matters like the age of the earth? To do otherwise seems inconsistent.
We wouldn’t want to be inconsistent! Here’s more:
Scientists who believe the universe is billions of years old assume the earth and meteors formed at the same time from a spinning cloud of debris. On top of that, the radiometric dating methods they use to determine meteorites’ ages rely on still more assumptions. This chain of assumptions is unreliable and totally disagrees with the Bible. We are talking about thousands versus billions — that’s more than a rounding error.
Those scientists must be crazy! This is from the end:
Without these alleged billions of years, evolution cannot happen. Ideas like human evolution are bound up in the question of the age of the earth. You don’t need those vast ages if you trust that God created plants, animals, and humans supernaturally — as He says He did in Genesis 1.
Well, dear reader, you’ve gotta agree with Patterson — the math isn’t that hard. And the result is The Truth™.
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